The advice folks have given about action (string height) is good. When I was teaching guitar it was very frustrating to me to see students struggle with hard-to-play instruments yet refuse to invest a few dollars in having the problem solved. Most those who wouldn't have their instruments adjusted gave up.

Something else to consider, too, is your technique. I have the sense you're around other people who play instruments and offer advice. But be sure that you are pressing the srtings close to, but not on top, of the frets. The idea is to move the string down far enough the fret can do its job. And press only as firmly as is necessary to get a nice clear tone. We often have a tendancy to work too hard. Press down on a string so that you get a nce tone, then relax a little. Find out just how much or little force you need.

If the melody string is doubled, consider taking one of the pair off. A single string is easier to finger than a pair and sounds fine. 

There are several things that could be making it painful to press down the strings.  Strings too high off the fretboard ("high action") is the first that comes to mind, and I see you're checking that out.  Next, I guess, would be needing a different gauge of string--and you're looking into that, too.  I just had my husband lower the action on a dulcimer in preparation for loaning it out to a novice level student, so I was finding this discussion very interesting.  Even after it passed the "nickel test" (he didn't know about the dime test), it still seemed too high to me.  So I got out a dulcimer that has a very good action (in my opinion--I do a lot of chording) and when I compared the two fretboards, it was obvious right away that my comfortable one had very low fret wires. Was this important or not?  That made me think that there could be much more to comfort in pressing down the strings that I had originally thought.  A Google search came up with this interesting information on the subject--in the context of guitars, but I think a lot of this applies to a dulcimer fretboard, as well.  Here's a link to the "10 Things You Should Know About Frets" article.

  http://www.gibson.com/News-Lifestyle/Features/en-us/10-things-you-should-know-about-frets-0705-1.aspx

Additionally, I personally feel the development of callouses helps me play better, even though I know some great players who think that if you have callouses you're doing something wrong.  When I was first learning to play, I would put several layers of clear fingernail polish on the part of each finger that pressed on the wire (I would press a chord first, then paint...dry, then press a different chord and repaint, etc.)  Those indentations show you exactly where you need the real or fake callouses! 

This has helped me; I hope someone else can benefit from my experience.  And read this short article--it's very interesting!

%^&*$ thing has a zero fret... (I though only Chinese guitars did that...)

At least I had files - have to do the action on every guitar you ever get.

The dulcimer sounds pretty nice though - until you break a string (from all the loosening and adjusting I guess..)

Wout -- with a 24" VSL, 12 gauge melody strings will work for both DAA and DAd tunings.

Surely you don't play noter&drone style

You write the strings are three .12 and one .20. Are you tuned in DAA or DAd? If you use the later, the tension on the double melody string is much higher than on the single middle string. Try pressing both using the same finger and on different frets (compare and try out if you feel a difference). A solution could be replacing the melody with two .10 strings (www.juststrings can help you out)

Wout

Hi Cynthia,

My tip for harder fingers is to play every day, even if you can only find a couple of minutes.

Just gives them a little reminder to toughen up.

Ayup.  That's a bit high.  A 2mm doesn't sound like much, but it can be. The height can be lowered by sanding the bottom of the nut and bridge.  Carefully slack off all the strings.  Put a piece of 60 grit sandpaper, grit side up on a table.  Sand a few (10-12) strokes off the bottom of the Nut, then re-tighten the strings and test the height again.  Repeat until the strings just touch. Then repeat the process with the Bridge end of things.

So here's the second part of the equation... You said the dulcimer has "a 24" fretboard".  Is that the distance between the nut and the bridge?  Or some other measure?  If that's the distance between nut and bridge, then the 12 and 20 gauge strigs are a bit thin for that VSL (Vibrating String Length) -- and that could be adding to the problem as they would be under more tension than slightly heavier strings to get to the same notes.  For a24" VSL, a good set of gauges would be 22W for the bass, 15 plain for the middle and 12 for the melody.

If you have very soft fingers you might get string creases that will toughen over time; but it should not be particularly painful unless you are playing for long periods of time.  Darcyhorse instruments seem to have a reputation for having high actions.  The Nickel & Dime test we use is this:

Put a dime next to the first fret.  Each string should just touch the coin.

Then balance a nickel on top of the 7th fret (not the 6+ fret); again the strings should just touch the coins. 

Not sure which is the 6+ and which is the 7th fret?  See my article called I Just Got A Dulcimer, Now What?  under the Dulcimer Resources Topic.