John, Wally is giving you good advice. Your question is basically how to join in multi-instrument jams with your dulcimer. Whether you are joining ukuleles, banjos, fiddles, or French horns is not really important.
The ukulele gatherings that I know of are basically sing-a-longs where people strum their instruments and someone (sometimes everyone) sings the lyrics. So the trick to joining would just be to learning all your chords. Of particular use will be the barre chords, since those can serve as both major and minor. 000 is a D or Dm, 111 is an E or Em, 222 is an F# or F#m, 333 is a G or Gm, and so forth.
You might also learn how to fake chords. It is true, as Wally says, that you don't have an F natural on the dulcimer, but the F chord is made up of F, A, and C, so you could just play As and Cs, such as 6-7-6 if you're tuned DAD or 6-7-7 in DAA.
And learning how to use a capo could be very helpful. If there is a tune in F, for example, you could tune to CGC and put the capo at 4. Your D chord positions will give you an F chord. Your G chord positions will give you a Bb. Your A chord positions will give you a C.
With a little knowledge, even a diatonic dulcimer can play in any key.
Most of those uke gatherings work with a stable set of songs, often centering on a songbook. That would enable you to go through and figure out how to play each chord ahead of time.
My final comment is just good advice for joining any jam. Your job is to fit in, not stand out. Play softly. You don't have to carry the whole piece. You might choose just to play a single note instead of a whole chord. As long as it is one of the chord tones, you'll be OK. And it is also OK to sit a tune out. I'm not sure I would join in if someone is doing Rhapsody in Blue in Bb, for example!
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Dusty T., Northern California
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As a musician, you have to keep one foot back in the past and one foot forward into the future.
-- Dizzy Gillespie
