You might be a dulcimer redneck if . . .

Tumbleweed
Tumbleweed
@tumbleweed
8 years ago
27 posts

......you spent your child support on a new McSpadden.  


I work for our local C/S agency.  Thought I had heard all the excuses until this one. Made me smile.  As a dulcimer redneck I probably would have to excuse the interest on the arrears. After all we talking McSpadden!

TW

Jan Potts
Jan Potts
@jan-potts
8 years ago
411 posts

Oh, come on, Kandee and David!  You're suppose to add a few of your own!

How about:

You once again rearrange the cement block steps up to the door of your trailer into a bar-b-que pit for the monthly jam.




--
Jan Potts, Lexington, KY
Site Moderator

"Use what talents you possess; the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best." Henry Van Dyke
David Pedersen
David Pedersen
@david-pedersen
8 years ago
32 posts

All of this is sooo funny.

 

Kandee
Kandee
@kandee
8 years ago
25 posts

Just ran across this thread.  Too funny!  Thanks for the laugh today.

phil
@phil
11 years ago
129 posts

well shoot Jim I not quite there yet I still learning them chords. but I should have the BBQ sauce there this weekend.Grin.gif

Jan Potts
Jan Potts
@jan-potts
11 years ago
411 posts

How poetic!

Jeremy Main said:

All you can hear Down by the Riverside is the rustling of thousands of potential noters in the wind...




--
Jan Potts, Lexington, KY
Site Moderator

"Use what talents you possess; the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best." Henry Van Dyke
Bob Davidson
Bob Davidson
@bob-davidson
11 years ago
2 posts

Bobby,

Didn't think of it before but that's a good one.

Bob Davidson
Bob Davidson
@bob-davidson
11 years ago
2 posts

Every one of these are great, I think everybody is guilty of one or more these. Thanks Phil for getting this started.Smile.gif

You might be if your initials are on the fretboard. I'm guilty of this one.

Macy Jayne
Macy Jayne
@macy-jayne
11 years ago
22 posts

Lol Anita! Here's mine...

...you're playin your dulcimer in your mind while sitting at a boring meeting at work. Been there, done thatGrin.gif

Karen Keane
Karen Keane
@karen-keane
11 years ago
11 posts

ROFL that was awesome!! You are very creative and funny. Grin.gif

phil
@phil
11 years ago
129 posts

Justin WHO????Grin.gif

Dusty Turtle
Dusty Turtle
@dusty-turtle
11 years ago
1,633 posts

. . . you can name a dozen tunes recorded by Don Pedi and none by Justin Beiber.

. . .you have heard of a guy named Bing.

. . . you think of a guitar as a six-string chromatic dulcimer.

. . . food, clothing, and rent all come out of the general fund but you have a separate dulcimer budget.

. . . the word "spalted" comes up on a daily basis.

. . . the ring tone on your phone is just a D-A drone.

And the band played on . . .




--
Dusty T., Northern California
Site Moderator

As a musician, you have to keep one foot back in the past and one foot forward into the future.
-- Dizzy Gillespie
Jan Potts
Jan Potts
@jan-potts
11 years ago
411 posts

Thanks for starting this thread, Phil--it really brightened my day! And, um, yes....I'm guilty of many of these, too....Smile.gif

phil said:

them are funny Jan and I am not going to say how many I am guilty ofGrin.gif




--
Jan Potts, Lexington, KY
Site Moderator

"Use what talents you possess; the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best." Henry Van Dyke
phil
@phil
11 years ago
129 posts

them are funny Jan and I am not going to say how many I am guilty ofGrin.gif

Jan Potts
Jan Potts
@jan-potts
11 years ago
411 posts

..... your favorite luthiers and music stores have higher speed dialer numbers than your friends and family.

...... your basement, garage, or barnis half-filled with long cardboard boxes, peanutsand bubblewrap "in case you ever need to ship another dulcimer somewhere".

.....you can't watch TV--especially the news and weather--withoutstrummin', picking' etc. on your dulcimer.

.....You sit in church and wonder, "Now how would THAT hymn sound on a Ban-Jammer?"

.....you lobby your local high school to include dulcimers in the marching band.

.....you double-check to make sure your dulcimers are safely secured in your vehicle and figure your passengers are "on their own".

.....there's many a thing you'd drop quicker than a bad habit, but your dulcimers getset down as gently as a newborn.

.....you need to change your will after every big dulcimer festival.

-----there's more than one broken thing in your house being held together by old dulcimer strings.

.....you can spell "Schnaufer" but have no clue as to how your great aunt's name is spelled.




--
Jan Potts, Lexington, KY
Site Moderator

"Use what talents you possess; the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best." Henry Van Dyke
BethH
BethH
@beth-hansen
11 years ago
41 posts

24.gif111.gif That's how I would figure it! Wonderful!!

Dusty Turtle said:

. . . when you describe your tax refund as "a baritone with a galax back and maybe even ebony overlay."

There really is no end to this, is there?

Cindi Zechman
Cindi Zechman
@cindi-zechman
11 years ago
13 posts

someone needs to print this on the back of a tshirt...on the front could be a picture of an outhouse, door open with a dulcimer hanging on the inside of the door. take these to dulcimer festivals.....I'd buy one in a heartbeatGrin.gif

John Henry
John Henry
@john-henry
11 years ago
258 posts

May I suggest that it's to time to stop printing this nonsense!!! 45.gif Some of these 'little messages' are getting to feel as if they are aimed straight at me 17.gif "when you can't remember how old your kids (read grandkids) are but you know..." 9.gif

JohnH

Robin Clark
Robin Clark
@robin-clark
11 years ago
237 posts

Excellent !!!!!!Grin.gif24.gif

I may have to have a T shirt made with "Born to DAA...." on it 69.gif

Dusty Turtle
Dusty Turtle
@dusty-turtle
11 years ago
1,633 posts

Youmight be. . .when you name your kids "Old Joe" and "Cabbage."

You might be . . . when you insist that the church choir only sing in the key of D.

Youmight be . .. when renovating your home means just getting a new noter.

Youmight be . . . when you can't remember how old your kids are but you know you got that Keith Young teardrop on July 13, 1984.

Youmight be . . . when your clothes just lie in a heap on the floor but you have a spalted cherry cabinet with humidity control to store your dulcimers.

Youmight be . . . when you describe your tax refund as "a baritone with a galax back and maybe even ebony overlay."

There really is no end to this, is there?




--
Dusty T., Northern California
Site Moderator

As a musician, you have to keep one foot back in the past and one foot forward into the future.
-- Dizzy Gillespie
phil
@phil
11 years ago
129 posts

Please pass it on.Grin.gif

Mark Richmond
Mark Richmond
@mark-richmond
11 years ago
7 posts

That is too funny!!! I will be sharing this!

John Keane
John Keane
@john-keane
11 years ago
182 posts

I feel so...um...guilty lol. Grin.gif

phil
@phil
11 years ago
129 posts

I going to try, I getting ready to start a new build on a Tenseness Music Box. Bowed Dulcimer are down the road yet for me. one day when your not looking I'll pass you by in numbers Grin.gif

Robin Thompson
Robin Thompson
@robin-thompson
11 years ago
1,344 posts

I'm on hold with mountain dulcimers for now. (Got another bowed dulcimer on order.) Feel free to catch-up to me! Smile.gif

phil said:

uh,, oh .... Ok you win you have more than me....... for now15.gifGrin.gif

phil
@phil
11 years ago
129 posts

uh,, oh .... Ok you win you have more than me....... for now15.gifGrin.gif

Robin Thompson
Robin Thompson
@robin-thompson
11 years ago
1,344 posts

Uh, Phil, I'd have to count 'em to give you an exact number. Grin.gif

phil said:

Sounds like you need more Dulcimer Robin. ya just can't have one.Grin.gif

phil
@phil
11 years ago
129 posts

Sounds like you need more Dulcimer Robin. ya just can't have one.Grin.gif

Robin Thompson
Robin Thompson
@robin-thompson
11 years ago
1,344 posts

Yikes, I don't! Maybe my diatonics got broken! 106.gifGrin.gif

Dan Goad said:

24.gif I didn't know that you had a chromatic dulci, Robin.

phil
@phil
11 years ago
129 posts

Yikes It's became a runaway thread. 24.gif

Dan Goad
Dan Goad
@dan-goad
11 years ago
156 posts

24.gif I didn't know that you had a chromatic dulci, Robin.

Robin Thompson
Robin Thompson
@robin-thompson
11 years ago
1,344 posts

Nope. Hb.Grin.gif

Dan Goad said:

Oh, ya found G# did ya, Robin?

Dan Goad
Dan Goad
@dan-goad
11 years ago
156 posts

Oh, ya found G# did ya, Robin?

Robin Thompson
Robin Thompson
@robin-thompson
11 years ago
1,344 posts

Well, I know the alphabet further than G. Guess that disqualifies me. Smile.gif

Ben Barr Jr
Ben Barr Jr
@benjamin-w-barr-jr
11 years ago
61 posts

Your idea of adopting an orphan is someone's unwanted dulcimer.

Dan Goad
Dan Goad
@dan-goad
11 years ago
156 posts

If your "Mac" is a McSpadden rather than an Apple product.

Jim Fawcett
Jim Fawcett
@jim-fawcett
11 years ago
86 posts

Hey Phil, those are great. 113.gif




--
Site Moderator
Ben Barr Jr
Ben Barr Jr
@benjamin-w-barr-jr
11 years ago
61 posts

Your Bumpah stickah says, "I brake for Dulcimer Jams".

Smile.gif

Ben Barr Jr
Ben Barr Jr
@benjamin-w-barr-jr
11 years ago
61 posts

Your tattoo of your Dadd is a three-string dulcimer on your forearm.

Grin.gif

Dan Goad
Dan Goad
@dan-goad
11 years ago
156 posts

Great, Phil. Describes me to a T.

phil
@phil
11 years ago
129 posts

sorry had to do it,Grin.gif I was looking for some new jokes and found this.

You might be a dulcimer redneck if . . .

.....you have a tattoo that says, "Born to play DAA".

.....you decorate your dulcimer at Christmas time.

.....your idea of the ideal honeymoon is going to a dulcimer festival.

.....your dulcimer rides in the front of the truck and your wife rides in the back of the truck.

.....your wife owns a camouflage dulcimer case.

.....your garbage man is confused about which dulcimers go and which dulcimers stay.

.....you have no idea how many dulcimers you have.

.....your idea of "girls night out" is going to a Schnaufer/Siefert workshop with your friends.

.....there is a dulcimer hanging in the outhouse.

.....you go selling all your harps and buy dulcimers instead.

......your dog can sing "Old Joe Clark" recognizably.

......you sleep with more than one dulcimer.

......you insist on playing your dulcimer during a eulogy.

......your dulcimer costs more than your truck.

......there are tobacco stains down the sides of your dulcimer.

......you change your strings more often than your t-shirt.

......your truck horn plays the A part of "Mississippi Sawyer."

......you have Mason jars filled with dulcimer picks.

......your neighbor complains about the weeds in your yard growing up around stringless old dulcimers sitting on concrete blocks.

......your capo is made from a recycled Bud Lite can.

......you think safe sex is when the participants play a courting dulcimer.

......your front porch collapses under the weight of so many dulcimer players gathered for the weekly Friday night jam.

......your front porch is held up by old dulcimer cases.

......you skip your mother's funeral because it's the same time as Kentucky Music Week.

......you have a dulcimer rack in the back window of your truck.

......Mail Pouch is painted on the back side of your dulcimer.

......you spent your child support on a new McSpadden.

......you lost your favorite dulcimer in a poker game.

......Junior's first word is "DAdd."

......you don't know the alphabet past G.

......your family portrait is of all the dulcimers you own.

......when Junior counts to ten, 6 1/2 comes before 7.

......you don't make it to work because your dulcimer has a broken string.

......you carry your picks in an empty "Skoal" tin.

......Junior asks you to play with him and you reply, "What key?"


updated by @phil: 08/02/22 05:33:16AM