Very frustrated!
General mountain dulcimer or music discussions
Melanie, you deserve credit for trying to learn as much as you can about the dulcimer. Kudos to you. But you should also know that you don't have to know anything about modes or about hammer-ons or about chords to play music on the dulcimer.
Don't even worry about tunings. If you want to eventually play chord/melody and your dulcimer has a 6+ fret, then tune DAd. Don't even think about other tunings until you are comfortable playing a half dozen songs or more. If you want to play in a drone style, then tune DAA and don't think about other tunings for a while.
I just have two questions for you. Can you tune your dulcimer? Do you know how to read tablature. If the answer to both of those questions is "yes," then send me a personal message and I'll give you tab that will teach you a few simple tunes in an easy, step-by-step manner. It starts with one note per beat, only strumming out, and only fretting the melody string. Then each version adds just one extra step until eventually you are playing a song with varied rhythm and chords.
If you don't know how to read tablature, let me know that, too. I can share something that will explain it.
I strongly recommend that you think less and play more. I know it's not that simple, but my guess is that if you just start playing some of the information you've tried to learn now will eventually make sense.