FUNNY songs you sing & play on your dulcimer

Susie
Susie
@susie
one month ago
364 posts

I've always loved Doug Berch's "Shame and Scandal in the Family". 


updated by @susie: 05/29/20 07:59:32PM
Kusani
Kusani
@kusani
one month ago
128 posts

My grandkids love the following, sung to the tune of Mary Had A Little Lamb:  Bunny rabbits have no tails, have no tails; Bunny rabbits have no tails, they use powder puffs;  Same song, Second Verse... Bunny Rabbits have no tails, etc.   

No, doesn't make any sense but the kids love it. :)  Like, 99 bottles of beer on the wall....etc. :)

 

Terry Wilson
Terry Wilson
@terry-wilson
one month ago
296 posts
Dusty, that is way way too funny. ‘Ought to be illegal. Gotta use that idea, thank you kindly.
Dusty Turtle
Dusty Turtle
@dusty-turtle
one month ago
1,267 posts

I saw John McCutcheon perform a song once that started out funny and ended up hilarious.  I can't remember the title, but the song was about some kid he grew up with in Wisconsin who would get his tongue stuck on the frozen metal swingset at school every winter. So he sange a verse or two, and then he asked the audience to sing along, but to do so as though our tongues were stuck on a swing set.  So each chorus we did that, with everyone trying to sing with our tongues sticking out of our mouths.  Perhaps the second or third chorus, he grabbed a camera and took a picture of us, all looking as foolish as we did.

He claimed afterwards that his kid told him no one would be willing to sing with their tongues sticking out, to which he replied, "I bet they will in California!"  I'm sure he amends that line to refer to whatever state he's in.




--
Dusty T., Northern California
Site Moderator

As a musician, you have to keep one foot back in the past and one foot forward into the future.
-- Dizzy Gillespie
Terry Wilson
Terry Wilson
@terry-wilson
one month ago
296 posts
My take on WaterBound, is about a sailor on a ship during WWll. I wants to be home so much. But he also remembers how hard he had to work on their farm. A little torn. I begin with this story.
Butch Ross
Butch Ross
@butch-ross
one month ago
18 posts

I don’t think sing-alongs necessarily count as “funny songs” but your take on Waterbound is objectively funny. And i’ve not heard the watermelon story but i’m certain it’s the cherry on top.

I don’t think we’re going to return to normal soon, or perhaps ever. But if quarantining longer means we lose people (especially those in vulnerable demographics), I’ll happily keep watching reruns of Matlock for another few months. 

Well, maybe not Matlock...but the Rockford Files definietly.

Strumelia
Strumelia
@strumelia
one month ago
1,783 posts

Aw Terry, I feel for you and for the residents who were so looking forward to your music and high-jinx. So sad indeed!

Keeping my fingers crossed that things will turn around very soon, especially for the old folks in nursing homes and assisted living residences.   heart

Stay well Terry!




--
Site Owner

Those irritated by grain of sand best avoid beach.
-Strumelia proverb c.1990
Terry Wilson
Terry Wilson
@terry-wilson
one month ago
296 posts
Are funny songs the same as singalongs, with most everyone smiling and singing? If so, then I must add a few of mind:

Boil Them Cabbage
If you’re happy and you know it.
Old Joe Clark
WaterBound

I created my own lyrics to WaterBound, just for laughs and storytelling. For instance, one verse:

“The outhouse needs moving, I don’t wanna go home. But I sure miss my brothers, I do wanna go home. Watermelons are ripe I sure want me one, down in North Carolina.”

In the middle of the verse, I stop, and tell a watermelon story, about 30 sec long, then pick the song right back up. Always fun with head nodding and head scratching, but always smiles.

“If you’re happy and you know it”, is kinda like my theme song. It’s fun, and removes the big elephant out of the room. I don’t care what crowd, this song is loved, fun, and loosens everyone up. Fun fun fun.

Today has been sad. I was supposed to perform for the first time this morning, for an assisted living home, outside in the garden area.
Not to be. They had 4 new cases of Covid19, yesterday. The activities director gave me the call around 8:00 this morning. Sad sad sad.

Anyways, just thought I would share my thoughts a little.
Y’all stay healthy and well, please.
Lois Sprengnether Keel
Lois Sprengnether Keel
@lois-sprengnether-keel
3 months ago
175 posts

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hard_Tack_Come_Again_No_More Has the lyrics & "facts" as best they're known.  happydance

Lois Sprengnether Keel
Lois Sprengnether Keel
@lois-sprengnether-keel
3 months ago
175 posts

Steven Berger:

"Hard Crackers Come Again No More", is a Civil War parody of Stephen Foster's "Hard Times Come Again No More". Attributed to the 1st Iowa Infantry, it tells of the adventures of eating hardtack.

Steven, you know too many of us have to learn the words to that!  Those of us who do Civil War reenactment will surely find a way to claim we learned it!

 

Steven Berger
Steven Berger
@steven-berger
3 months ago
138 posts

"Hard Crackers Come Again No More", is a Civil War parody of Stephen Foster's "Hard Times Come Again No More". Attributed to the 1st Iowa Infantry, it tells of the adventures of eating hardtack.

Ken Hulme
Ken Hulme
@ken-hulme
3 months ago
1,750 posts

I've been meaning to work up a dulcimer part for the Tom Paxton hit The Marvelous Little Toy, made famous by Peter, Paul and Mary.  A local due that I sometimes sit in with at various venues around the area has that tune as part of its cover repertoire.  A couple months back I sat in with them at a lunch gig at the Matlacha Fish House, and I faked my way through the tune with them.  It would be nice to do it up right..

John C. Knopf
John C. Knopf
@john-c-knopf
3 months ago
211 posts

"I'm My Own Grandpa" gets everybody cogitatin' and laughin', too!

Ballad Gal
Ballad Gal
@ballad-gal
3 months ago
24 posts

Old Bangum, learned from an album by Richard Dyer-Bennet. The chorus is made up of nonsense syllables. 

Lois Sprengnether Keel
Lois Sprengnether Keel
@lois-sprengnether-keel
3 months ago
175 posts

We all can use a bit of fun, especially now, but I had already decided I needed to play "The Sloop John A" after hearing it on the syndicated "Folk with Matt Watroba."  (Check your NPR stations to see if the show is on yours, or check https://www.wkar.org/programs/folk-matt-watroba#stream/0 )  He played the Les Barker parody & I knew I had to learn it.  Since we're all working on our repertoire a bit more right now, I recommend getting the tab for Sloop John B & the parody words.  For the words & Barker doing the song I went to YouTube.

Fellow pun lovers will love how we never did find the John A, maybe the A's at sea.

Dusty Turtle
Dusty Turtle
@dusty-turtle
10 months ago
1,267 posts

@butch-ross, you're just gonna have to change the lyrics. "Old enough to retire but I'm still a waiter/'Cause I like singing folk songs."

By the way, I hear Juneau's paying $50 now.

Honestly, it's a great tune, Butch.  You gotta find a way to keep it alive.




--
Dusty T., Northern California
Site Moderator

As a musician, you have to keep one foot back in the past and one foot forward into the future.
-- Dizzy Gillespie
Butch Ross
Butch Ross
@butch-ross
10 months ago
18 posts

I used to play This Song all the time, but I stopped 'cuz I'm so clearly not even close to 35 anymore.

 

Bill in NM
Bill in NM
@bill-in-nm
10 months ago
5 posts

For some dumb reason, I really like "Froggy Went A'Courtin".

hugssandi
@hugssandi
10 months ago
277 posts

The Five Constipated Men of the Bible from our very own Ken H.!  (Y'all have mentioned lots of faves I wanna learn now though...)

Astrelfrog
Astrelfrog
@astrelfrog
10 months ago
1 posts

I am learning Sweet Betsy from Pike, (the tune) to play "You Smell Like Turtles" from Homer and Jethro. This was the flip side of "Daddy Played First Base." My husband and I have sung the Turtle song for many years, much to the dismay of family, friends and strangers.  Since almost all of their songs were parodies, finding the original music for most isn't hard. We also have a set of caving carols we do, to popular Xmas tunes.

Example:

Lost in a Crawlway

Lost in a crawlway trying hard to escape

To find the wrong entrance would be their sad fate

They came out an entrance 90 feet up a bluff

They only fell 80 but that was enough.

Just think: Dr. Demento's Greatest Hits on dulcimer. Guess I better start looking into that.

Lois Sprengnether Keel
Lois Sprengnether Keel
@lois-sprengnether-keel
11 months ago
175 posts

Dusty Turtle:


Lois Sprengnether Keel:


@Dusty Turtle,


By all means, make use of our additional verse.  When I sing the song there is a horse named Pinto, a dog named Chili, A fish named Jelly, and a friend named Yuman.  


Bravissimo!!!clapper


 

Dusty Turtle
Dusty Turtle
@dusty-turtle
11 months ago
1,267 posts

Lois Sprengnether Keel:


@Dusty Turtle, I like your addition & trust it's given as Creative Commons for all of us to use.  I learned the song as the dog's name was Porkin.  Chili & Jelly are actually a bit neater as you don't have the problem wanting to change to the plural.


By all means, make use of our additional verse.  When I sing the song there is a horse named Pinto, a dog named Chili, A fish named Jelly, and a friend named Yuman.  




--
Dusty T., Northern California
Site Moderator

As a musician, you have to keep one foot back in the past and one foot forward into the future.
-- Dizzy Gillespie
Lois Sprengnether Keel
Lois Sprengnether Keel
@lois-sprengnether-keel
11 months ago
175 posts

Just went down to the start of this discussion & see we should give "And where did you learn them from?"  Beans came along with waaaay too many songs from being a camper & camp counselor.  Folklorists might be able to pry the sources out from me further, but then there's all the additional years as a children's librarian. 

Guess I should contribute something to the discussion.  If I'm strictly honest about how my dulcimer was used, just this past summer (many libraries are cooperatively doing an astronomical Summer Reading program theme to celebrate the moon landing anniversary) I told an Australian story about the sun that ended with the Kookaburra.  I then did the song's 2 verses that are more standard & added the 1 an Australian friend told me years ago about:

Kookaburra sits on the electric wire

Setting all his tail on fire

Stop, Kookaburra,

Stop, Kookaburra,

Hot your tail must be.  (ouch, ouch, ouch!) -- do those ouches with your hands off the dulcimer as if they're burning up.

* * *

See your children's librarian for LOTS more material.

Lois Sprengnether Keel
Lois Sprengnether Keel
@lois-sprengnether-keel
11 months ago
175 posts

@Dusty Turtle, I like your addition & trust it's given as Creative Commons for all of us to use.  I learned the song as the dog's name was Porkin.  Chili & Jelly are actually a bit neater as you don't have the problem wanting to change to the plural.


Dusty Turtle:


Well I learned a mildly clever song from Stephen Seifert.  I think he just called it "Chili Bean."  My daughter and I added a verse.



The version I knew went:


My dog Porkin loves to roam,


One day he came roaming home,


Full of fleas and very unclean,


Where in the world has Porkin Bean?


 


 

Dusty Turtle
Dusty Turtle
@dusty-turtle
11 months ago
1,267 posts

Well I learned a mildly clever song from Stephen Seifert.  I think he just called it "Chili Bean."  My daughter and I added a verse.

The main verse goes

My dog Chili likes to roam

One day Chili ran from home

Came back looking not so clean

Where oh where has Chile bean?

Then there's a verse about a horse named Pinto and so forth,  My daughter and I wrote this verse:

My fish Jelly likes to roam

One day Jelly swam from home

Came back purple, red and green

Where oh where has Jelly bean?




--
Dusty T., Northern California
Site Moderator

As a musician, you have to keep one foot back in the past and one foot forward into the future.
-- Dizzy Gillespie
Robin Thompson
Robin Thompson
@robin-thompson
11 months ago
1,043 posts

Mark & I do Down the Road together and once in a great while I'll play mountain dulcimer on part of it/take breaks on it.  (It is so hard for me to sing and play at the same time!)

In the song "my old hat's got a hole in the top" and "rocks in the road as big as a churn".  We sing choruses and if I'm on MD there are breaks.  




--
Robin T
one of the Moderators here :)
Keep a song in your heart!
Ken Hulme
Ken Hulme
@ken-hulme
last year
1,750 posts

Boy, this is a 'blast from the past'!!!  

David Bennett
David Bennett
@david-bennett
last year
70 posts

Sheepy and the Goat.

It's not ha ha funny, but kids like it. I learned it from Don Pedi the last time he visited north Alabama. I think Don said he was making a tab book of very simple tunes. See the video (unfortunately Don doesn't sing it here but he does play it) at https://dulcimercrossing.com/sheepy/dc_sheepy_md_pre.html

This short but good 

The lyrics something like:

Sheepy and the Goat walkin’ through the pasture

“Sheepy” says- "Goat, can you walk a little faster?”

Sheepy got- tired and it lay down, 

and the Poor little Goat kept pickin’ all around

[then you can add any animal you like]

Sheepy and duck...

Sheepy and the cow...

Sheepy and the aardvark...

etc.

Here's me play a LITTLE of it 


updated by @david-bennett: 07/12/19 09:45:23AM
Blue Hand
Blue Hand
@blue-hand
10 years ago
8 posts
One of the funny songs i play and sing on the dulcimer is Harry Belafontes Banana boat song
Cheryl James
Cheryl James
@cheryl-james
10 years ago
4 posts
Oh and how about:The cat came back, we thought he was a gonerBut the cat came back; just couldn't stay away.Away, away, yea, yea, yeaI used to do this years ago with my youngest daughter's pre-school school and even the parents enjoyed it...That and have you see the ghost of John were our favorite funnys, especially for this time of year, time to dust off the cob webs on those...dulic-geek
Paul Certo
Paul Certo
@paul-certo
10 years ago
243 posts
Another one I forgot because I haven't played this one in a while: He Never Came Back, learned from an early 1960's Dave Van Ronk record.Paul
Dusty Turtle
Dusty Turtle
@dusty-turtle
10 years ago
1,267 posts
I guess my dulcimer hasn't found its sense of humor yet.I play "O'Brien is Tryin' to Learn to Talk Hawaiian" on a pink ukulele.When I play guitar for my daughter's kindergarten class I play Pete Seeger's story/song "The Frog" ("Oh way down south in the yankety yank, a bullfrog jumped from bank to bank") which involves singing like cows, chickens, a barnyard gate, grass, a babbling brook, etc.And another kids guitar favorite which could easily be adapted to dulcimer: "There Ain't No Bugs on Me."For the adult crowd I will sometimes play Loudon Wainwright's "I Wish I Was a Lesbian" but the mood has to be just right.Most of the funny songs I know I learned from Jim Kweskin albums. Where else do you get, "Washington at Valley Forge/Freezing cold but up spoke George/He said, vo do dee do, vo do deeo do do"?What a great topic for a discussion, Strumelia!


--
Dusty T., Northern California
Site Moderator

As a musician, you have to keep one foot back in the past and one foot forward into the future.
-- Dizzy Gillespie
Paul Certo
Paul Certo
@paul-certo
10 years ago
243 posts
A couple I forgot to mention before: You Ain't Talkin' To Me, Tying A Knot In The Devils Tail', and Starving To Death On My Government Claim. There's some others I haven't tried on dulcimer yet, only guitar: Stairway to Gilligan's Island, and Talkin' Grizzly Bear Blues. And one I'm just starting to work on, I'm My Own Grandpa.Paul
Dana R. McCall
Dana R. McCall
@dana-r-mccall
10 years ago
170 posts
My grandmother used to sing that song to me all the time. I love it. His fingers were as long a a cane in the break and he had no eyes for to see, and he had no teeth for to eat the hoe cake so he had to leave the hoe cake be. Is that the same song. Michael Vickey said:
Uncle Ned. Sometimes with "politically correct" lyrics.
Michael Vickey
Michael Vickey
@michael-vickey
10 years ago
29 posts

Uncle Ned. Sometimes with "politically correct" lyrics.
Ken Hulme
Ken Hulme
@ken-hulme
10 years ago
1,750 posts
Cholesterol - from SweetwaterThe Portree Kid - from the Corries (to the tune of Ghost Riders in the Sky)
folkfan
@folkfan
10 years ago
363 posts
The Ballad of William Bloat. Funny in a dark wayI think I first heard it sung by the Clancy Brothers and Tommy Makem
Paul Certo
Paul Certo
@paul-certo
10 years ago
243 posts
"The Ballad Of The Shapes Of Things"-Kingston Trio"The Scotsman" -I don't recall who first recorded it, I have it by Atwater-Donnelly -I'm as likely to play it on banjo as dulcimer"Einstein The Genius" -Cranberry Lake Jug Band. -I got this album as a part of a grab bag when Kicking Mule was unloading all of their old vinyl cheap. I don't know anything about the band other than this album."5 Pounds Of Possum"- Stolen from Sweetwater,not sure who wrote it. I play it more often on guitar, but occasionally on dulcimer."The Devil & The Farmers Wife"- An old song, possibly from England in Colonial days or earlier. Another I stole from Atwater-Donnelly. I probably play this more often on banjo, too.Paul
Strumelia
Strumelia
@strumelia
10 years ago
1,783 posts
What are some of your favorite funny, silly, or humorous songs that you play and sing on your dulcimer?

And where did you learn them from?







--
Site Owner

Those irritated by grain of sand best avoid beach.
-Strumelia proverb c.1990

updated by @strumelia: 01/17/20 09:38:42PM