I've always loved Doug Berch's "Shame and Scandal in the Family". 

My grandkids love the following, sung to the tune of Mary Had A Little Lamb:  Bunny rabbits have no tails, have no tails; Bunny rabbits have no tails, they use powder puffs;  Same song, Second Verse... Bunny Rabbits have no tails, etc.   

No, doesn't make any sense but the kids love it. :)  Like, 99 bottles of beer on the wall....etc. :)

I saw John McCutcheon perform a song once that started out funny and ended up hilarious.  I can't remember the title, but the song was about some kid he grew up with in Wisconsin who would get his tongue stuck on the frozen metal swingset at school every winter. So he sange a verse or two, and then he asked the audience to sing along, but to do so as though our tongues were stuck on a swing set.  So each chorus we did that, with everyone trying to sing with our tongues sticking out of our mouths.  Perhaps the second or third chorus, he grabbed a camera and took a picture of us, all looking as foolish as we did.

He claimed afterwards that his kid told him no one would be willing to sing with their tongues sticking out, to which he replied, "I bet they will in California!"  I'm sure he amends that line to refer to whatever state he's in.

I don’t think sing-alongs necessarily count as “funny songs” but your take on Waterbound is objectively funny. And i’ve not heard the watermelon story but i’m certain it’s the cherry on top.

I don’t think we’re going to return to normal soon, or perhaps ever. But if quarantining longer means we lose people (especially those in vulnerable demographics), I’ll happily keep watching reruns of Matlock for another few months. 

Well, maybe not Matlock...but the Rockford Files definietly.

Aw Terry, I feel for you and for the residents who were so looking forward to your music and high-jinx. So sad indeed!

Keeping my fingers crossed that things will turn around very soon, especially for the old folks in nursing homes and assisted living residences.   

Stay well Terry!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hard_Tack_Come_Again_No_More Has the lyrics & "facts" as best they're known. 

Steven, you know too many of us have to learn the words to that!  Those of us who do Civil War reenactment will surely find a way to claim we learned it!

"Hard Crackers Come Again No More", is a Civil War parody of Stephen Foster's "Hard Times Come Again No More". Attributed to the 1st Iowa Infantry, it tells of the adventures of eating hardtack.

I've been meaning to work up a dulcimer part for the Tom Paxton hit The Marvelous Little Toy, made famous by Peter, Paul and Mary.  A local due that I sometimes sit in with at various venues around the area has that tune as part of its cover repertoire.  A couple months back I sat in with them at a lunch gig at the Matlacha Fish House, and I faked my way through the tune with them.  It would be nice to do it up right..

"I'm My Own Grandpa" gets everybody cogitatin' and laughin', too!

Old Bangum, learned from an album by Richard Dyer-Bennet. The chorus is made up of nonsense syllables. 

We all can use a bit of fun, especially now, but I had already decided I needed to play "The Sloop John A" after hearing it on the syndicated "Folk with Matt Watroba."  (Check your NPR stations to see if the show is on yours, or check https://www.wkar.org/programs/folk-matt-watroba#stream/0 )  He played the Les Barker parody & I knew I had to learn it.  Since we're all working on our repertoire a bit more right now, I recommend getting the tab for Sloop John B & the parody words.  For the words & Barker doing the song I went to YouTube.

Fellow pun lovers will love how we never did find the John A, maybe the A's at sea.

@butch-ross, you're just gonna have to change the lyrics. "Old enough to retire but I'm still a waiter/'Cause I like singing folk songs."

By the way, I hear Juneau's paying $50 now.

Honestly, it's a great tune, Butch.  You gotta find a way to keep it alive.

I used to play This Song all the time, but I stopped 'cuz I'm so clearly not even close to 35 anymore.

For some dumb reason, I really like "Froggy Went A'Courtin".

The Five Constipated Men of the Bible from our very own Ken H.!  (Y'all have mentioned lots of faves I wanna learn now though...)

I am learning Sweet Betsy from Pike, (the tune) to play "You Smell Like Turtles" from Homer and Jethro. This was the flip side of "Daddy Played First Base." My husband and I have sung the Turtle song for many years, much to the dismay of family, friends and strangers.  Since almost all of their songs were parodies, finding the original music for most isn't hard. We also have a set of caving carols we do, to popular Xmas tunes.

Example:

Lost in a Crawlway

Lost in a crawlway trying hard to escape

To find the wrong entrance would be their sad fate

They came out an entrance 90 feet up a bluff

They only fell 80 but that was enough.

Just think: Dr. Demento's Greatest Hits on dulcimer. Guess I better start looking into that.

By all means, make use of our additional verse.  When I sing the song there is a horse named Pinto, a dog named Chili, A fish named Jelly, and a friend named Yuman.  

Just went down to the start of this discussion & see we should give "And where did you learn them from?"  Beans came along with waaaay too many songs from being a camper & camp counselor.  Folklorists might be able to pry the sources out from me further, but then there's all the additional years as a children's librarian. 

Guess I should contribute something to the discussion.  If I'm strictly honest about how my dulcimer was used, just this past summer (many libraries are cooperatively doing an astronomical Summer Reading program theme to celebrate the moon landing anniversary) I told an Australian story about the sun that ended with the Kookaburra.  I then did the song's 2 verses that are more standard & added the 1 an Australian friend told me years ago about:

Kookaburra sits on the electric wire

Setting all his tail on fire

Stop, Kookaburra,

Stop, Kookaburra,

Hot your tail must be.  (ouch, ouch, ouch!) -- do those ouches with your hands off the dulcimer as if they're burning up.

* * *

See your children's librarian for LOTS more material.

@Dusty Turtle, I like your addition & trust it's given as Creative Commons for all of us to use.  I learned the song as the dog's name was Porkin.  Chili & Jelly are actually a bit neater as you don't have the problem wanting to change to the plural.

The version I knew went:

My dog Porkin loves to roam,

One day he came roaming home,

Full of fleas and very unclean,

Where in the world has Porkin Bean?

Well I learned a mildly clever song from Stephen Seifert.  I think he just called it "Chili Bean."  My daughter and I added a verse.

The main verse goes

My dog Chili likes to roam

One day Chili ran from home

Came back looking not so clean

Where oh where has Chile bean?

Then there's a verse about a horse named Pinto and so forth,  My daughter and I wrote this verse:

My fish Jelly likes to roam

One day Jelly swam from home

Came back purple, red and green

Where oh where has Jelly bean?

Mark & I do Down the Road together and once in a great while I'll play mountain dulcimer on part of it/take breaks on it.  (It is so hard for me to sing and play at the same time!)

In the song "my old hat's got a hole in the top" and "rocks in the road as big as a churn".  We sing choruses and if I'm on MD there are breaks.  

Boy, this is a 'blast from the past'!!!  

Sheepy and the Goat.

It's not ha ha funny, but kids like it. I learned it from Don Pedi the last time he visited north Alabama. I think Don said he was making a tab book of very simple tunes. See the video (unfortunately Don doesn't sing it here but he does play it) at https://dulcimercrossing.com/sheepy/dc_sheepy_md_pre.html

This short but good 

The lyrics something like:

Sheepy and the Goat walkin’ through the pasture

“Sheepy” says- "Goat, can you walk a little faster?”

Sheepy got- tired and it lay down, 

and the Poor little Goat kept pickin’ all around

[then you can add any animal you like]

Sheepy and duck...

Sheepy and the cow...

Sheepy and the aardvark...

etc.

Here's me play a LITTLE of it